Suicide note

STR

I only had a few seconds to think and set it in ink//
I took a breath and it stings and now I rest on the brink//
Of the knife, and the life and the blood that I left in the sink//
It was depressing me, starin ahead after my destiny blinked//
I only have the time that it takes for blood to dry on a page//
I live for survivin the raise, another rise in the stakes//
To add to the thrill that comes with knowing you could die in the chase//
And if I die in this place, on the side of this blade//
I don't want the silence to break, or them to cry at my wake//
I want em to file up and pray to not see a crooked smile on my face//
I've been in denial for days and its an endless cycle//
When half your friends are spiteful and half pretend to like you//
And there's only so much solace inside a pen and Bible//
So you practice starin down the barrel of a Nintendo rifle//
Until that's not enough and then it's back on the drugs//
Back to thinking about the action of the back of a gun//
As you pack it with slugs and wanna try it again//
I think about the times that I've said//
I should have read the signs in my head//
When my life is shades of purple, minus the red//
Another night on the edge more problems to get past//
But everything's always clearer through the bottom of the glass//
I could never bother them to ask and it was horrible to me//
When I grew up screwed up through the core and to the seed//
I hope you find this in time and read the design of my mind//
Literally, line for line all over my spiral and blinds//
I'm tryin to find somethin to keep me from bitin this bullet//
A life at its fullest flashes right when I pull it//
Time pauses, my mind wanders and senses the lesson//
That in a tenth of a second my life's at the end of this weapon//
The sentences set in, an instant before I'm $$$$in it back//
And I'm shocked at the fact, that there was no stoppin this path//

Reppin

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I-RoNiK

a boy jus my age - he feels he's trapped in this cage-
happiness outweighed by rage- but lights shine for him on this stage-
bet you've got unwritten notes- that say goodbye to ya ma-
ya recite quotes to gain votes - got pills that sit in a jar-
an every mornin ya wake an you want to go far-
but the pain brings you down - left with an emotional scar-
ya brain burns like tar - tryna answer your own questions-
but it's time now to listen to someone elses suggestions-
ya got so much to live for - and I don't even know you-
forget all the d*ckeds an all those f*ckwits that owe you-
cuz at home you- got all the people ya love-
you shouldn't take the easy door to heaven above-
cuz you'll get pushed an then shoved- by angels who left this world without choice-
now i hear doubt in ya voice- tru- life ain't all smiles an rolls royce-
it's a b*@tch that makes you feel like ya worthless-
i no cuz i been there too- wonder why ma mam gave birth -god bless
her soul she's restin no more stress in this test-
but im here pickin up pieces an each day i progress-
an i jus wanna help you to know you can do it too-
yeah you got your reasons but wheneva ya feel blue-
pick up a blank sheet a paper an let ya pen do the talkin-
don't feel the need to run away- jus let ya feet do the walkin.