Open mik - Chat Show

lady_lyrical_00

this is an experiment ive dun .......... ive decided to make a rap in the style of a chat show, dunno y , jus came to my hed,,,but is relli tricky

Note: None of these ppl r real, everythin is made up,, this is also a ruff draft an not the real thing (not the improvements)

im open to all feedbak and gimme some comments on how i cud improve also, sfe


[Host Intro – Maxwell Talks]

Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to this show
My names Maxwell,Lemme tell you how this go
We got 1 person backstage, She comin live soon
To talk about her issues while she sittin in this room

This ones an addict – She wanna quit sellin smak
And get together lyrics, To do a demo disc track
But shes finding it hard, aint got no job, no money


[Audience Person Calls Out]

“ One night with me, Ill pay “


[Maxwell Talks]

Ay man, This s.h.i.t aint funny

So welcome out ma girl farrah, She’s comin now
Give her a sec, Till she ready, To face the crowd


[Farrah comes – Sits Down]

[Maxwell Talks]

Welcome Farrah, I see you wanna leave the past behind
So go on girl, Jus open out and say wus on yor mind


[Farrah Talks]

I dunno were to start, This pain is eatin me
I still remember my father, Swerin and beatin me
My mama lyin like, She a fresh victim of death
With bruises and scares cramped up, lyin in bed
I see her every night – She workin the needle
Injectin poison to her vein, Nothin’ ll heave her
This life is crashin down,Tell me, Why should I live ?
Im onli 18 man , What can I give ?
And thers me at collegue, Jus tryna up my knowledge
So I can work for-my-mum, And fill up her wallet
Im getting low on grades coz im always sneekin out
Hidin from bullies – Who wanna know my whereabouts
And when they find me, Is round 2 of getting battered
My books all scatter, Leg shattered – No one knos the matter
The onli job I hav now, Is of sellin smak
Last night I woke up dazed, “ O s.h.i.t - ive bin attacked”
Now what to do, they’ve stole my drugs – Neva gave it back
I gotta hide before my boss finds out, Ive lost it all
He finds and hits me bad – Till I can bearli crawl
“Lissen b.i.t.c.h – You got till tomorrow noon”
Now wer to go from here, I run straight up my room
Only to find – Mum has had her last needle
Her mouth full of foam – She no longa breathin
I can’t take it now, I reach out for the knife
f.u.c.k this world, Im goin , Im endin life
But somthin resisted, My mind insisted
Finish your goals promised – Or I would have missed it
A chance of new life and a chance for choice
So understand the painful cries, Of-this , pleedin voice


[Crowd Silences]

[Maxwell Talks]

-Dam –
Girl, Ive neva seen a person more braver than you
Who lost her whole life and lived thru what you bin thru
That makes you a fighter, And neva a quitter
s.h.i.t I’d give you all my money and make you richer
Your so amazing, In which you taught others to live
And how could you bare to ask – ‘What can I give ?’
That s.h.i.t was foolish – You know you did the right thing
Now think of all the hopes and dreams new life could help bring


Your not alone we’ll give support to guide you all the way
Lets pass the mic and see what other people got to say


[Audience – Person 1]

Im proud of you girl – And I will salute you
Like Maxwell sed, You bin thru what no other lives thru
And I pray you, Make it and live out your dream
You got a long road ahead – A lucky teen
I was also sellin crack, and makin my doe
Slept around for the money – Don’t make me a hoe
What can I say – Lifes cruel but you gotta face it
This life is blessed girl – Don’t waste it, Jus be proud, Embrace it


[Farrah Talks]

I feel is hard getting attacked, jus for bein muslim
My whole tradition and religion mus really confuse them
Ive always dreamed of rap and hoped - it would take me far
If you holdin a message – Don’t matta what colour u are
As long as u preach it, teach it and never breech it
Show that extra light with every rhyme u happen to spit
And prove others that its wise to keep on learning and trying
But this thing called knowledge, Jus keeps on dyin


I was wise not to suicide and save ma life
And I kno mums smiling now, hearin my voice
Guess what mum, Im gonna make you proud
Im gunna be a women – reach out – and face this crowd
Keep doin what I do, Ive leant so much from you
Coz with god’s help, There’s no doubt ill make it thru


[Audience Cheers]

[Maxwell Talks]

Keep doin your thing girl – I give my vote to you
Less hear from another speaker, I can see to


[Audience – Person 2]

Once agen im impressed, You keep on workin hard
An trust me, Your ambitions will take you far
But may I say one thing girl – What about your dad
Are you gunna leave him?, He’s the only one you have
And what about your life of takin an sellin smack
You planin to pass it right?, Or will you take it back


[Farrah Talks]

Ive decided to quit drugs – They only made me worse
An takin it got me addicted, Like they have a curse
But once you hooked, U can guarantee, You neva back
Ima give it all quit and give it all I have
Now bout my dad, Im leavin him, Decided to go
Until he changes, Im gone for real, U never know
I wont be back until hes sworn to change for good
How could I live with violence, I think is best he should
Leave for life, and never have to see me now
Ima move on with my life, Coz I now-know-how
So im sayin my last good byes to my drugs and father
An I promise you all here, I aint done workin harder

odp

koo..good to see different style



doom- coast to coast with space ghost- the host witht the most..

lady_lyrical_00

n e improvement suggestionz.......

odp

let me read through it all..

odp

it pretty..good u got ur style..an i dont think i can recomend anything

lady_lyrical_00

seen, thnx ...i aint to satisfied with me flow on this one its a bit uneven

DarkHorizon

lady_lyrical_00

ty man, thas real... n e ideas of how to improve??

DustySkidz

I'll give you some ideas to improve. Just gotta read through this properly. I can't look at it too closely today, cos my boss is bang on it today. I'll print it out, read it at home and give you some feedback

lady_lyrical_00

kul np

Dr_Grimsly

your fine to me, improvin all the time, just a few words in there seem smaller then the other and puts the flow off, other then that its a good different subject! wud be joke if u recorded it lol...record it!

lady_lyrical_00

few words seem smaller than others, an puts ur flow slighlty down''' cn u expand on tht for me plz..... thnx

eddie05

Sounds very similar to the shystie tune called "questions" where the tune is centered around a chat show.

But still...do your thang

lady_lyrical_00

$$$$ dam, never thought of tht........ nah shysties was a game show im sure mines is chat........

eddie05

It was a chat show whereby she was answering questions about her life or some sh!t

lady_lyrical_00

seen,,, neva knew that ... dont matta....... thas an asian version lol