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UK Music » Forums » The Studio » Open Mic »

Off the Chain Deepness... From GROVE


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Old 07-07-2008, 01:49 AM   #1
W10
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Posts: 20
Default Off the Chain Deepness... From GROVE

VERSE ONE)

Shots ring body slumps to the left,
Hear screams as the pumps to my head,
See cameras framing the moment,
Flashes tear through the air
Images captured saved to the phonebook
Glares and the stares so painfully potent
Swear that their demons Hid in the forms of my friends,
Sent out to peform at my death.
Knelt at my altar unevenly paved,
Streetlights shine down bleeding their rays,
Tears from the sky, patter the concrete,
And drip from the eye of the contraption above me,
Hear roars from the devil below me
Echoing the thunder revelling my soul beef
Wind whistles sounding its chant
As I kneel down soaking the ground in my blood.



(VERSE TWO)

It seems neverending the barrell still silent
Bullet still trapped its powerful enviroment,
Wielder still watching making my nightmare,
Blood still clotting staining his Nike Air's,
Sweat meandering contours of my face
Mixed with blood an abnormal embrace,
The burn in my chest Disturbing my breath
As the hole opens like the curtains of death,
And I slip out of darkness into the light
Then back from the light to the whims of the night

I Call for an ending Call for a sentence,
Call to the Lord for warmth of repentance,
But winters scorn from the heavens
Chills on my spine symbols my neglection
Celestial Peace takes over my whole
I lived on the street so my souls in the road.
BANG!

(VERSE THREE)


No thoughts, no vision required
I lived through the violence I'll slip through silence
Clutching a crucifix Pray that my Son stays
Away from the streets and the stains that my blood makes,
I now see through the power of retrospect
All the signs that I missed with the threat of death
I epitomise the greed of a rich man
Always the next never pleased whats in this hand,
And If I felt the Air
I would have understood life is a gift and the wealth is there,
The wiseman carries, the burden of wisdom,
And the fool is a burden existing
Ive learnt through the system One life, One Chance
Reckonised when One Mic struck Nas
So I hope for forgiveness I wrote what I witnessed
Dreamed in the hope that Ive listened





Hit me back with some feedback
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Old 07-07-2008, 10:49 AM   #2
W10
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Posts: 20
Default

Originally Posted By: W10

VERSE ONE)

Shots ring body slumps to the left,
Hear screams as the pumps to my head,
See cameras framing the moment,
Flashes tear through the air
Images captured saved to the phonebook
Glares and the stares so painfully potent
Swear that their demons Hid in the forms of my friends,
Sent out to peform at my death.
Knelt at my altar unevenly paved,
Streetlights shine down bleeding their rays,
Tears from the sky, patter the concrete,
And drip from the eye of the contraption above me,
Hear roars from the devil below me
Echoing the thunder revelling my soul beef
Wind whistles sounding its chant
As I kneel down soaking the ground in my blood.



(VERSE TWO)

It seems neverending the barrell still silent
Bullet still trapped its powerful enviroment,
Wielder still watching making my nightmare,
Blood still clotting staining his Nike Air's,
Sweat meandering contours of my face
Mixed with blood an abnormal embrace,
The burn in my chest Disturbing my breath
As the hole opens like the curtains of death,
And I slip out of darkness into the light
Then back from the light to the whims of the night

I Call for an ending Call for a sentence,
Call to the Lord for warmth of repentance,
But winters scorn from the heavens
Chills on my spine symbols my neglection
Celestial Peace takes over my whole
I lived on the street so my souls in the road.
BANG!

(VERSE THREE)


No thoughts, no vision required
I lived through the violence I'll slip through silence
Clutching a crucifix Pray that my Son stays
Away from the streets and the stains that my blood makes,
I now see through the power of retrospect
All the signs that I missed with the threat of death
I epitomise the greed of a rich man
Always the next never pleased whats in this hand,
And If I felt the Air
I would have understood life is a gift and the wealth is there,
The wiseman carries, the burden of wisdom,
And the fool is a burden existing
Ive learnt through the system One life, One Chance
Reckonised when One Mic struck Nas
So I hope for forgiveness I wrote what I witnessed
Dreamed in the hope that Ive listened





Hit me back with some feedback





11 views no feedback. Come on man, no thoughts, good or bad. I wanna hit you with a next ting on here, get the flow going!
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Old 11-07-2008, 11:31 PM   #3
MUSKK_2008
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Posts: 144
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Its a lot easier to read now i heard your voice if you know what i mean lol, an' yeah your voice with these i can tell would sound great. But wheres the chorus?? You got verses no chorus, i think it would sound better with one.
Muskk
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Old 12-07-2008, 08:25 PM   #4
j-kid1
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Posts: 684
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Yeah it's good still, but to make it easier orn the reader, when you do multi's you should use - so that they know whats supposed to rhyme together; this will also help with the flow of it. Are you from Ladbrooke Grove, and do you record music?
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