Life.....My first rhymes so go easy

FreakyP

People always say that lifes ok
but i turn around and everythin's just gray
i look in the mirror just guess what i see
i see life lookin back n its just ugly
rapists, pedos n murderers too
but nobody cares until it affects you
so much life n love left to give
why should we hate when lifes there to live

All this pain leads to self hate
cuttin yaself coz u just cant take
people comin up and beatin on you
socially, physically n mentally too
your frozen inside, you just cant wait
for it all to end before its too late
all it takes is a little more love
n maybe some help from the man up above

Today everythin just revolves around money
its gettin so bad it aint even funny
governments startin wars to line their pockets
just for oil they'll fire off rockets
blair and bush best buds for life
but what about the people livin in strife
to me where livin in real bad days
where no-one can see past the green haze

So many people biggin themselves up
when everyone knows they after a fast buck
no disrespect i got no quarrel
i just think life has some sort of moral
maybe im mad or just see the truth
you just gotta look at todays youth
beer and drugs a way to escape
fakin a life that aint no fate

I wanna go back to bein a a lil child
when hate and sadness was fixed with a smile
these are dark days n theres no sign of an ends
all we need to do is make a few friends
peace love and unity
thats all we need to live life free
life comes and goes but it aint easy
what will it take to make you see


thats all i got as u can see im not into all this ima shoot ya family n screw ya mum stuff i feel this sorta stuff is about expressing your feelings not expressing pure hate and anguish

Cruel-T

Good for a first time-rhyme. Keep it up, expand your vocabulary and with your strongest feelings (Anger, etc) come up with harsher words to describe them.

FreakyP

ok thanks ill take these into account next time

Cruel-T

But you have a good heart with ya, man. Your rhymes are clean, I respect that. I feel some of the $$$$ you say in this script, just remember - expand the vocabulary, and throw in some harsher explainations.

FreakyP

yeh cheers man i aint into all this battlin stuff i just respect life and everythin that it brings as for the vocab any tips on that?

Cruel-T

The best thing to do, is glance at a dictionary. Not reading it religiously, but keep up with the important words that you use everyday, take note of other words that mean similar - stuff like that.

FreakyP

o right yeh i get ya i guess a thesurus would be helpful aswell then

lady_lyrical_00

“	thats all i got as u can see im not into all this ima shoot ya family n screw ya mum stuff i feel this sorta stuff is about expressing your feelings not expressing pure hate and anguish	”

dam straight, keep the posistivty an keep writin a lil more, ull b elevatin fast

FreakyP

thnx im tryin 2 write something new atm i just cant get it started.....
and as far as elevatin... i doubt it lol everything i try just sounds $hit atm lol

I-RoNiK

Hey,

This is awesome for a first time rhyme... u shudda seen my first one LOL! and im totally feelin what you say bout what u rap about, yer i used to battle when i first started out and it did really help me but now i just say it how it is like.

anyway keep on goin boy!

xxx

joewalton02

nice lyrics freakyP, at last some lyrics with meanin, you no most people jus mc about nothin but ures bout how ya feel n that nice1 keep it up pal!!

the stuff you done there is hard to do, people can rhym words but it doesnt mean ne thing, i cant say much thats wot myn are lyk but its r8.
we them lyrics makes u beta than alotta people on here if ya no wot i mean?

joewalton

FreakyP

thanks joe i can mc worthless stuff aswell though lol

colne_chris

Mint rhymin their lad. Know what ya mean bout b2b freestyle

Freestlyistic Time to go ballistic
all you raver wanna dance to this sh!t