help??freestyle dnt cuss bk

lady_lyrical_00

i need sum feeds n advise on freestylin ... aint freestyled in 5 yers, so this is me first ever freestyle lol

this is ment for feed n advise no come bakz.

the swears got dots between em, so they dnt sho up like $$$$
dont read each letta separatly...


They call me a carnivore, coz I onli eat beef
Rip yor lyrics in my teeth, while im takin ova streets
Mandem wanna clash, so I bring the beef bak
Spittin gat, Lyrics clap, Like rata – tat – tat
Imense speed like a chrome bullet, Im down with it
Shot down like a b.i.t.c.h, Wen u get round to it


Nowdayz they pak heat with their, Plastic pistol prop
But not a verse that they spit can leave me static inna shock
So don’t mock, what yor mind don’t know – Watch an learn
Your lyrics brought to ashes, now u cryin ‘ let it burn’
So don’t play with fire or u bound to get scar’d
A cat playin a lions game, no wonder s.h.i.t.s hard


Battlin aint my style, to preach is what I go for
Oportunities bound to knok so im standin nex to the door
One day to open up an take me in, im reechin brim,ready wantin more
Take a look bak at life an thinkin, y im livin for
Now I told u all before an im’a tell u again
Like Friday, ‘Got knocked the fuk out’ with the rest of the men





‘Let it burn’ = one of ushers trak

‘Got knok the fuk out’ = A phrase used in Ice Cube ‘Friday’

‘rata-tat-ta’ = Gun shot sound

‘beef’ = used many times, first verse as a form of food/vexin

TOP_SHOTTA

another few free styles an u shud be merkin ! cos u alredy usin word play an abit of multies ! so start beeefin girl :-)

lady_lyrical_00

ty man,,,, needin mor feeds n advise............

lady_lyrical_00

ty man,, cum on ppl plz feed.n advise need mor info on dis ~1

j-kid1

ur quite gud, keep at it and u shud b gud for the next tournament. but one thing u shud work on is punchlines

holy_smokes

yeah the rhymes are tight but like my man said pack in more punches

like money's no trouble cos i roll in lex bubble
i gots boulders and rocks call me barney rubble

Peace Out

I-RoNiK

I guess I gotta second what every1 else said... ya verses are f*ckin HOT girl!! an ya flow is excellent too.. likin ya style, but only fing is I guess work on ya punches.. but I guess it int battle lyrics so its not as important to have as good punches.. but betta to hav good punches den poor ones.

Tazer

U gotta remember, u dont have to write a full song to merk sum1, cos if its 2 long ppl get bored and dont read the whole thing.

lady_lyrical_00

thnx u lot wiked advise,, ok im on it lol

holy_smokes

lyrical battling will make you more confident too, when i started out i was like uh... weak but i still took everything and gained exp along da way. now i love battling cos it improves my vocabulary

Peace Out

lady_lyrical_00

tru on tht one i agree..........how cums u wernt on msn 8.00 dint u get my pm on this forum

j-kid1

yh like smokes sed clashin gives u betta punches wordplay and a wider range of vocabulary, like my bredz use basic words like hoe, sh*t n that but i come wid da next words like insignificant im proud

lady_lyrical_00

thnx yeh tru agen

j-kid1

anytym u can always ask us for advice