Play with me!

[lady_*ice]

Old Skool members may remember this! Visit http://www.elibs.com/ enter your answers in CAPITAL LETTERS so we can see which are your words, and try and use names that us lot know, not like 'John, my next door neighbour'. Lets have a laugh I'll start!

Messed-Up Fairytale
One day in a land far far away, further than SCOTLAND , there lived a girl named SARES . SARES was very HARD and FAST and every man in the kingdom wanted her. Even SILVEO thought of getting into her LEG WARMER . One day, after drinking rather heavily for 3.7 hours straight, SILVEO FARTED over to SARES 's house and said to her OH....MY...GIDDY GIDDY GOSH SARES you are so ROUGH ! I'd love to take you to UPTOWN RECORDS and kiss you on the ELBOW and then you would be mine Forever. Well SARES thought that this was SEXY , He was pretty CRACKED and had a nice FLOOR , So she agreed. Little did he know SARES had a secret. So off they went to UPTOWN RECORDS and he did kiss her on the ELBOW and she was his forever. well that kiss led one thing to another and soon they took of their NECKLACE and their SOCK . YUMMY ! SILVEO shouted! SARES had a FINGERNAIL where her NOSTRIL should be. But it was to late she was his forever.
The End

The moral of the story is don't count your CHICKENS before they JUMP .

[Silveo]

Thats completely wrong.

im not cracked!

[Silveo]

All of our Alice really come from the sun. The sun is a big ball of gases made up mostly of Sares , MC TRILOGY and apple sauce . Inside the sun kinda bueno atoms join together through a process called discharge fusion and become Pillsbury Man . During this process, large amounts of Dragon Stout are released. Francis Swifts sock works its way to the sun’s Skoda and then radiates out into Amsterdam in the form of lizard which give us Frilly Black Crotchless suspenders and alopesha .

now thats a more accurate account

[J.K.]

A FIESTY sport wich BOMBED in Britain in the 1600’s and wich 'as been regarded as the UMBRELLA of the rich and the aristocracy. The SHAFTING season lasts from November until April. Each CONDOM is controlled by a Master of 'AMSTER and the 'ounds are controlled by the LAWYERS . Foxhounds are similar in shape and color ter the IGUANA , but are slightly more FILTHY . In recent years animal rights activists 'ave attempted ter VIOLATE 'unts.

[lady_*ice]

I hate it when people who've made their own really dont get the whole thing and it all comes out completely wrong (cough cough the one ou used Silveo)

Imma try again

dear JAY K ,
you should have been there! it was the PRETTIEST pool party ever! there were 978 whole people there! even SARES was there! he was lookin mighty SPOTTY and his PLUGS wasn't lookin too bad either! it all started when i got a call from SILVEO . HE told me that we should have a pool party over at my house. i was like YOU MUTHA FÚCKER ! i dont even have a pool! so we called up SARES and asked if we could have the party over at his house. and he said yes! IM COMING ! i am as HURT as a CHINCHILLA ! i hired a couple of HALE AND PACE over to keep the party ITCHY . once everyone got there, we started the pool games which included water MOUSETRAP , chicken and ORGASMIC marco polo. dang SARES sure did look good in that THONG BIKINI ! of coarse i was wearing my PINK GRANNY SWIMSUIT . the one that shows a lot of my EYELASH . everything was going great until SPUNKY s mom came. who invited her?! she's a little... well BEASTLY . she wanted to be on DFL s shoulders during our chicken game! OH MY GOD ! we told her to go and FALL a CEILING ! thats when she called the FIVE-O on us. we had to get all the SEATS and ZEBRAS out of there! we were STREETRATS and the only place to hide was SWEEDEN . we took ROWLAND s BENTLY and got out of there.

and if you were wondering, thats where we are today. so if ya get the time drop us a line!

ALICE

ps OW ! oh ya and uh NOOOOOOOOOOO !

[Silveo]

Water is Drank when it is not fit for its Bulging uses such as: drinking, swimming, watering Cleaver or serving as a habitat. Bloody water can cause disease and kill fish and masseur . Some major water pollutants include: Crab Juice , chemicals from factories, UNCLE JOE and weed killers as well as leakage from land fills. Water pollution is being Drank in some areas, such as Dj Shy Lake, and the Hudson. Companies continue to look for better ways to get rid of Alice

[Silveo]

And my own version of Harry Potter:

UNCLE JOE LIKES WEED , whut ya' said t'me da damn oda' night really made me dink, ah' dig it how ah' must gotss' made ya' feel, please fo'give me. What it is, Mama. Right On! ah' really do ya' likes ya' some lot. it started out, ah' wuz tryin' t'make ya' jealous but ah' guess afta' ah' gotss'ta know ya' some little betta' ah' started likin' ya'. Man. Right On! please let me make it waaay down t'ya' by takin' ya' t'hogsmeade dis weekend. let's rap about it afta' lunch today by de lake. What it is, Mama. Right On! Harry
ya' wuz so's happy. Slap mah fro. Right On! ya' did likes harry some little. What it is, Mama. Right On!

afta' lunch, ya' walked waaay down t'de lake and sat waaay down unda' some tree. What it is, Mama. Right On! ya' wuzn't dere long when ya' heard foot steps. ya' looked around 'spectin' t'see harry, but instead ya' saw draco. 'hey baby' he said kissin' ya' gently on de lips. dis took ya' by surprise. What it is, Mama. Right On! ' UNCLE JOE LIKES WEED , whut's goin' on?' ya' heard some one say. Slap mah fro. Right On! ya' looked around plum in time t'see harry walkin' back toward da damn castle. What it is, Mama. Right On! ya' looked at draco, and den ran t'catch waaay down wid harry. Slap mah fro. Right On! when ya' reached da damn castle, ya' yelled fo' harry. Slap mah fro. Right On! he turned around and faced ya', ya' could see tears in his eyes. 'whut's wrong?' ya' asked. 'whut's wrong?' he asked ' UNCLE JOE LIKES WEED , ah' dink i'm inlove wid ya' and ah' go t'meet ya' and ah' see ya' kissin' dat scum, malfoy. Right On!' 'whoa, slow waaay down, ya' barely know me and dat scum, malfoy? harry, look, he kissed me, ok?' ya' said. 'he did?' he asked. 'uhh...yah' ya' said. 'well, are ya' goin' t'hogsmeade wid me o' not?' he asked. 'uhh...sho' nuff' ya' said. ya' leaned in and kissed him, plum t'make him feel betta' and walked back t'de common room. 'S coo', bro.

[lady_*ice]

[Sares]

You lot are disturibed!!

I shall do one in a bit!!

[Tempo]

Hmmmm.....

1st one...

Turkey Gravy
Add masterbating broth to turkey drippings and reduce by one third. Remove from the heat and play in a sauce using a circular saw . Return to the dog and cook, playing , until the mixture thickens. Add Absinthe to the desired color. Add brick and pepper to taste. If too masterbating add a bit more piss and cook for a victorian . Sauteed koala bear make a nice addition to this gravy. If you are still welsh after your efforts, try adding some seasonings.

2nd one...

A forest is a large area of yoghurt covered mainly with semen and cornflakes . Some forests, such as the great Amazon thrush Forest, have existed for thousands of years. Vast areas of $$$$e have been destroyed by duck billed platapus activity, but others have planted new forests, and a fifth of the world’s land is still covered by e45 cream . Forests create their own special gods . At ground level they are generally shady and confused , because the crowns of the trees shade the Pizza hut . The air is still because condoms protect the interior from the juices .

[Slick Miss]

There was once a TASTY guy who always liked to HUMP . One day, LAW and ALICE came to his WALES for a business call. He was so ROTTEN that LAW began to BONK his WILLY HUGE ly. Soon, ALICE started WIGGLE ing WAHOOOO while LAW started SWAGGER ing their GOOSE . The SHEEP began MEHHHH and turned them on. Within 12 12 4 6 , the SHEEP joined in SHINY ly.
Ever since then the business calls have lasted for 12 4 6 7

Lol

[lady_*ice]

lolol I liked the bit where u bonked his willy hugely!

This is so addictive!

I once went to SORE party.At fist it was SORE then something went horrobly wrong. when I first went to the party, SLICK MISS and TEMPO were dancing together. Then I joined my 2 best friends, SARES and DFL we were watching a SMELLY movie. But suddenly you hear a VRRRRZOINK from the TOILET . We went up there and saw SHELL-E lying dead on the floor with a STAPLE-GUN stuck in her KNEE .
Everyone was scared out of there SCARF . everyone rushed down the HARD stairs to get out of the house, but it turns out the SLOW door was locked. Then they heard a WOOF from the LOFT . they went up there and they saw SLICK MISS lying dead with a PURPLE HEN teeth in his/her KNUCKLE .People started shouting things like OH MY and FOOKIN ELL . it was pure madness. suddenly some one broke a window and climbed out so did I. right across the street there was a THE GARDEN some people went and hid in that. and I stayed with DC the whole time we hid. then SAZ spotted the psyco-crazed dude from scream! he spotted us and came at us with 86 SWORDS .

we didn't know what to do.we started running away and hid in the abandoned FORUM LAND , and hid behind a DILDO . I don't think he saw us but suddenly he SPRAYED out at us screaming in a SLOW voice saying OUCH . and just missed us with his PAINTBALL GUN . but we ran ahead of him into SINGAPORE we found a SPUD GUN on the ground and used it on him as he died he screamed NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO . and thats the end of that chapter.